that time I failed at parkour (freerunning?)

I don’t know exactly what was going through my mind when it happened, but somehow a combination of too much buffy

, a day off and the first dose of boredom in a long time manifested as me taking a parkour session on a Tuesday evening. I guess I thought: if it goes wrong it’s an anecdote, if it’s good it’s an adventure, besides I’d seen vloggers on youtube do it so how hard could it be.

I rocked up in town and walked from the station to the parkour building, which was a bit of a trek but I’d done the route before to go to both the climbing place and the trampoline place nearby. However I’d miscalculated the time, going way too early for the happy hour session. Naturally I wandered the shops for the hours I had to spare, browsing mundane products to pass the time. I went from a household supply shop to a tech shop out of sheer boredom, getting gradually more fed up as the day went on. Part of me wondered if people thought I was a thief, I had been lingering in their shops for a while and I was a young white male, although I’m pretty sure most of the attention was in my imagination.

After the hour of half-hearted shopping I followed the path down to the industrial bit near the trampoline bit, nosing my head in and immediately leaving. The words “murder basement” sprang to mind, it was dark, cold and empty with an older man who I don’t think saw me. I was expecting something full of young attractive people doing things from awesome films to pop music. Old music was playing in the background and I slinked away, changing my mind. My thoughts ping ponged between “murder basement” and “but you’ve waited so long and you’ve been drenched.” In the end I slinked into the trampoline place, performing the kind of toilet based clothing change you’d expect in a double life superhero/Hannah Montana situation.

I braved the murder basement again and the older man explained that they were on a first aid course. The happy hour time made sense. There was another hour of waiting, this time with Wifi and my headphones in against a marble table. It’s as annoying as it is ironic that when I’ve got literally nothing else to do for an hour youtube is a desert, but when work you settle down to do something productive it’s a minefield of distraction. Finally when the guys in charge stumble in they set up in a heartbeat, with a blond dreadlocked guy blipping my card using their website and his colleague emerging. The lights flickering on and fading the murder basement vibe immediately. There were weird wooden towers, random metal poles to balance on and a foam pit that was only accessible via a jump. The guy – Craig – introduced himself and I explained my complete lack of ability to him. He was a mixed race black guy, mid-thirties and kind of cool in a very friendly way, reminded me of a family friend who used to work for the climbing company next door to them. I also met a younger lad later that night who was obnoxiously good at all the tricks and had what could only be described as “Quintin from the magicians” hair, at least ear length with a bob.

Craig showed me some warm ups and after a little running and stretching we worked on balance, that I was terrible at. I could walk across them a little but trying to balance on tip-toes as instructed was as hilarious as my attempts were tragic. Next were jumps, hopping from one thing to another, which I didn’t totally suck at. After a few hops from three separate balance pads made of converted tyres he lead me up one of the wooden steps and asked me to leap from one side to the other. I hesitated, part calculation, part fear of whacking my chin on the bit where my feet should be. The gap was apparently the same distance, but the height had changed. I made it, jumping how I was advised as opposed to how I would naturally jump. The wave of relief him me when I made it across, he congratulated me and moved me to the vault area with a smile.

He pulled out the vault box and showed me a few different vaults, this was the part where I met the lad. He was 14 yet acted much older, and he had more muscles in his upper body than an army of my clones would put together. A few slightly iffy yet not too tragic vaults later he left me to have a wander. I then latched onto the lad and hovered around him for a bit, where he showed me the tomb raider pole launch thing among a few other bits, with me failing 80% of the time and him reinforcing how to do basics with the phrase “you need to commit!” Most of my time was spend asking him to dumb down what seemed to him like very simple concepts, and at one point he suggested I “Imagine its Indiana Jones” as if that made it magically simpler.

It was surprisingly good fun, I’d go again. However I wouldn’t do it as a regular hobby, especially not beyond the happy hour price. My main advice to the company beyond the wait would be that slow old timey slightly romantic music is not suitable for a parkour session. . I also now know where my abdominal muscles are because they still feel a little achy the day after, on the other hand I did end up hurdling a bike-slower-pipe-thingy on route home because of my time there.

My weekend part 2: everything else

My saturday evening was spend at an 18th birthday party. It was relatively chill with my friends eating pizza, exchanging memes and drinking.

I was surprised by the tameness of the event, but it was a welcome change of tone from a hurricane of a week. I didn't drink much that night because work.

three things stood out that night:

1) one of my friends saying "Allah Akbar" when a chunk of the cake was dismantled. The cake consisting of what was essencially half an easter egg filled with sweets and dumped on top. He said it in front of the birthday boy's (very vanilla) parents as the egg was being struck by the tiny metal hammer.

2) I vaped. There was no nicotine in the vape pen, but I thought why not. The pen looked a little like a sonic screwdriver, which made me envy its original owner a little, but the experience was like enhailing squash, not particularly fun to be honest, but very dramatic looking as a flow of vapour followed.

3) I walked home a midnight, the rain pattering on the umbrella in a calming way as the floor reflected all the streetlights. I decided to put on a spooky podcast in order to make the most of the atmosphere.

It's remarkable how different I felt when I put on "Lore" (an eerie history podcast voiced by a man with a remarkably unnerving voice.) I changed my mind after the intro. It didn't seem like a wise idea as i walked to an empty house in the rain at night, especially as with every step i began to check behind me. So despite the ambiance i swapped to "Lorde" album. It was the line "the home has been a safe haven for centuries ..." that was the tipping point.

The next day i got dressed, and googled the train times. I had two options, slightly too early or slightly too late. I went with too early giving me 17 minutes to dash to the station. When I got there i found a smart replacement bus which gave me a free ride in exchange for 2 minutes extra of my time going the long route.

So while i was early in town I visited WH-Smiths. It was then that i saw a man that looked like Charlieissocoollike, a youtube icon who was anchored into my mind as the single representative of my childhood. "It can't be. He lives in London" I thought before I locked eyes on the booth. My heart raced and I suddenly realised why the girls at the concert felt the need to scream at Brendon Urie.

He was so normal looking and I could have literally turned around and said hi if my brain worked a fraction quicker. But alas I had missed my shot. It merely fuelled my determination. I made it my mission to meet him in person and get a shameless selfie despite my ugly work clothes and my half-arsed hair.

I found it strange that I was so obsessed. I'd met Evan Edinger that summer and it was such a normal experience, Charlie was equally as down to earth as Evan was ... so why was my heart attacking my chest? I guess that's down to sentiment for the youtube veteran that began my obsession.

Tragically I was too broke to buy the book in the slither of time I was given because #studentlife, and when I returned he wasn't there anymore. I was crushed, how dare the universe dangle Charlie Mcdonell in my face and snatch him away without a second thought. I stormed through town, scanning strangers with the hope that he stayed around a little longer.

It was fruitless and when I returned to work it took all my self control not to take it out on the customers. He would have been the reward for surviving through the week, a stressed week of homework essays and personal statements that was begining to crush my soul.

I feel like my weekend could have been perfect if I'd had the foresight, which adds so much salt to the wound. Its a weird kind of FOMO, what if I'd known? It's too late to fix it so I guess next time I'll make it work.

Until then lets hope next week is a little calmer

My weekend part 1: my first concert

My week ended on a friday, my stresses of lost wallets, personal statements and homework still present faintly in the back of my mind as i queued for a band called "panic! at the disco." I'd dropped my rucksack at work to be collected the next day and began talking to the people  to me, thinking "why not? I'm stuck here for three hours until the doors open anyway." My friend was reluctant at first but eventually aclimatised to the situation and began to converse a while after.

From the cluster of concert goers i met two stood out. Pudsy ears guy (a bloke my brothers age in Pudsy ears who was only slightly cooler than me) and a girl only slightly younger than me from Wolverhampton who had missed school to drive down. They were fun to talk to and made the fact that i was frostbitten and being rained on with my umbrella left at work bearable. We discussed everything from my lack of accent to a misunderstanding of the bible involving the spirit of Christ ejaculating over the virgin Mary (don't ask.)

We entered the building in clusters and i slipped away to buy merch before the queue developed. If i had the foresight i would have drank at this bit, biggest regret of the evening. after barging through the wall of people and returning to my spot i had even more waiting. I people-watched. Chatting casually to a cute scouse couple and playing "spot the dad" until a band finally arrived.

The first band came on, a mix of guys and girls with a female drummer. They were Australian and would have been charming if anyone knew their songs. It was then i noticed the earbuds in the ears of one of strangers i had met that night. It was so loud and bright that it would have been perfect with earbuds in. I remembered what the vlogbrothers advised about concerts in their video and regretted my decision to ignore their Advice. It was so loud and bright that i could barely make out the lyrics.

After them Brendon stepped onstage next to what could only be described as his guitarist lookalike. He preformed well, putting all the energy you'd expect. But all i could think was "I'm too sober for this." Those words orbiting my head on what would have been a great night. His rendition of "girls girls boys" stood out particularly with great showmanship.

My only comment was when he did a high note, exaggerating it as a cue for hype that made him sound like lorne from the buffy spinoff angel, the audience would shriek back in a fangirl siren scream. It was amusing at first but painful and slightly gimmicky by the sixth squeal. My main thought through most of the evening was weighing up the possibility of me getting my place back if i broke away from my little divet in the sea of teenagers.

On the flipside the concert veterans looked after me in the queue and even wondered where i was when i sneaked off to by merch.

I left, temporarily hard of hearing and so sleepy that i didn't function well, before collapsing into bed.

Festival number 6

I started the festival buzzing, my arm freshly bangle clad as im lead to our boutique tent (dad insisted, good decision) by a volenteer. I ran to see kaiser chiefs, slightly too sober to enjoy it but still shouting to the lyrics that they played immaculately.

I was served alcohol (surprisingly) and let loose in the temporary neon town i now called home. It was a weird city, something reminiscent of the town from "spirited away" with trendy people dotted around in top hats and face paint, a weird bias where the clothes were cheap but the food cost a firstborn child  (sorry Sam ... we sold you for a cider when i ran out of kidneys to sell.) I was also fortunate to have wellies as it was essentially a bog town.

My first ever concert was Bastille, a band featuring cool bloke in criminally skinny jeans that lead a chant well and claimed to be unable to dance despite evidently doing so very well. I chatted to people including drunk women who thought i was south African and a cute girl hanging with a cluster of her teen friends. It was fun for the first few songs until i realised i had ran out of Bastille songs i knew the lyrics too with the exception of the very last one (Pompeii - that song's still so good!)

The next morning i scoffed a waffle that gave me the best kind of sugar kick and explored the settings, finding out the hard way that nothing started til 12. I found the timetable after an embarrassing amount of time and planned my day, unfortunately the first 3 activities were either shit or cancelled, the irony being that the talk i stumbled into when exploring (shout out to medival history guy) was excellent. I've seen actual bands/comedians less fun than him.

I joined the Johnny Vegas talk thinking it would be comedy, but i got there early and  endured a 1 hour talk on midlife crisis's ... there was also a poem about spiting the rich which i found incredibly ironic at the most middle class festival EVER. when finally Johnny Vegas began to talk it joined together in a deathtrap ... he wasn't here for the funny ... we wanted to talk about being a political prisoner! "Oh shit" i thought, taking in the wall of people hiding from the rain as i planned my escape. I weaved through them awkwardly and escaped before the video clip came up, filling the air with false "sorry" s and "excuse me"s as a forced past.

After narrowly missing a few workshops i found the comedy tent, with Nish Kumar performing. Coincidentally i had seen him a few nights before on TV. The woman who introduced him was great fun with her perfect peppiness and the gift of getting into sincere conversations with the audience before reeling off genius anecdotes.

The acts that night varied from the best smaller comedians (the local girl who killed it, the host - see above ... I want to be her friend so bad, and Nish Kumar who made me want to be the coldplay drummer and surprised me by not using his TV material) to the worst (hyperactive gits in costume with annoying voices making very left wing jokes.) Finally it finished on Johnny Vegas, who made me leave more concerned about his wellbeing than feeling the funny so to speak.

The boutique tent was spacious, waterproof and robust plus it was very close to the arena which was perfect for quick access. It included blow up mattresses and duvets as well as a metal ring with fake fairy-lights that looked cute with the rest of the decorations but sinisterly sacrificial if placed in an appropriate setting surrounding some fire/dead animals/anything else from a horror movie.

One thought did keep reoccurring during my stay, which was that my younger, hat obsessed self would have been in heaven. There was everything from fancy ass feathery headgear to bowler hats including a millinery themed pub with hat cocktails.

Finally the thing i loved most about the festival was how friendly everyone was this year. I spent most of my time hopping from stranger to stranger, varying from the Volvo sponsored sailor girl, to the Scottish women in the queue to the comedy tent and the hat guy with the glitter on his face. This of course was ideal for me as I love the potential to talk to anyone and everyone at the event without disrupting their lives, conversation is just expected here, and it was beautiful!

Thanks number 6, see you next year!

The blue aussie street performer

After a day of chair moving and paperwork with Rachel (the greatest human in the building) and Huw I was released early from work. So i do a bit of shopping and cheque cashing and all my other jobs. On the way out i see a facinating Australian man with electric blue hair and an oversized flyswatter ("im australian, have you seen our spiders." - performer guy.)

In the performance he explained what his plans were (swallow the fly swatter, juggle swords) and before i could realise what happened i was chosen as a volenteer. He started off encouraging me to demonstraight sword swallowing without practice, which i didn't and gave him the look of concern he was working for. After that his orders became more realistic, passing him the blades when he asked he to.

After the initial fly swatter deepthroating (the handle part not the swatter) and swird juggling he got me to strangle him into a straightjacket, buckling him inside with him making a series of jokes that went over the kids heads but hit the adults well. "If you get the wrong buckle then the whole trick gets a bit less straight, and there are already rumours. Plus im being put into bondage by a man I've just met"

He got a kid involved (confessing it was for the adorable factor) and a chinese man without realising he spoke very little english, so that was an interesting barrier. After the jacket I wrapped him up in chains, paranoid that I'd screw up the trick for him while i ducked under and went over the foreigner (Stone, his name was Stone) 's chain tangling the aussie.

After a short speech about "in this world we need more laughter" that was half lipservice and half touching the performer did a series of squirming and weird dance moves, freeing himself from the chains in a flurry and holding his hat out for donations. So yeah, that was my tuesday.

17th birthday

On my 17th birthday i was a hurried mess of stickiness. The sunlight was cooking my business clothing and i was late to my first day of work experience. I had a flurry of new songs on my phone to fill the train trip and i'd called ahead to warn the company of my delay.

When i finally arrived i was sent to do busy work such as copying and pasting twitter bios into a word document with a bunch of middle aged office workers. They were charming and fun to be around but they weren't the jetsetting young people I was expecting when i signed up. I returned from my day disgruntled and sticky, roasted and certainly not in the mood for a fancy meal out.

Dad finally talked sense into me and we decided to go to a little italian place for a small meal and conversation. What we didn't realise is that it was band night in the local pizza place! Middle aged performers (dubbed "the mid life crisis" by my family) were playing easy listening next to us on a speaker the size of a small table! We ended up communicating via shouts and the notes app on dad's phone, laughing our heads off at how ironic the situation was and how suprisingly in tune the band was. To be honest it made my night go from a 4 to an 8.

The pizza was excellent to the point where I was moved to compliment the chef and I dont think I've laughed that hard in a long time!

Being an extra

Being an "extra" sounded fun when i was younger. Being paid to both do nothing AND be filmed as an "Easter egg" in TV. For someone as lazy as me that was a dream come true. So when the reality came I recruited my older brother's friend Alex and we met at the meeting point in suitably wintery clothing. I was suprised at how quickly he took control of the situation, asking the right questions and getting sorted much quicker than i could have.

We bumped into a blonde girl in a smart coat and began chatting. She was taking maths at uni and i think Alex may have been flirting a little. The camera crew consisted of a young researcher girl who i mistook for a director and a slightly older guy who was the camera man.

After a short wait a crowd of students including a discount seth green, a guy who looked like belonged on the breakfast club and a cute brunette chick who i found out had a mild dr who obsession (which we discussed at length.)

After over half an hour of walking a certain way and admiring the suitcases of the breakfast club guy we settled and began chatting, everyone seemed calm and in the same boat, genuinely willing to have a laugh. We sort of became friends due to being close in age and having literally nothing else to do other than chat and play on our phones.

They were all awesome to hang out with and i felt that everyone had a good time at the end.

Are emotions a sure-fire way of ruining your hero?

What do Alaska Young (looking for Alaska,) Spike from “Buffy” and Batman have in common? They all play the cool and aloof card and leave their fans thirsty for more, but why does it work?

We seem to be attracted to characters that couldn’t care less about anything other than the protagonist, yet I’ve not noticed it until recently with my relapse back to Buffy The Vampire Slayer and their three leather clad, badass characters (Faith, Angel and Spike) that have stolen my heart more than the main leads have. However if you met someone that arrogant and uncaring in real life you would either not remember them or have a bitter taste left on the tongue, so why is it when you see a figure in the distance in a leather jacket with their head down smoking a cigarette there is some kind of allure triggered?

Another theory is that its more relatable to fall for a “blank slate character” like Harry Potter or Becca from Pitch Perfect because they have no controversial opinions or deep feeling until later in the narrative, and by then you will be able to sympathise. These protagonists allow the show to be watched by anyone without having their actions justified, evil is bad, so we remove even if there are consequences – basic utilitarianism.

Finally rebels are sexier, dark love interests like the cliché “brooding vampire” and the “rebellious indie chick” allows a taste of what we could never get away with in real life. They call the shots and will make dramatic sexy speeches before slipping on tight leather and slipping away into the darkness. We envy their control and how they mirror the oh-so-innocent protagonists making a perfect devil’s advocate. They indulge us in the unobtainable and help us imagine a world where we get what we want. The perfect example of this is River Song from Dr Who with her trigger happy principles and the doctor acting as impulse control and balancing the moral scale.

But does this have a negative effect? Could all these feisty, uncaring anarchists be making us more cold and chaotic? Are we becoming detached because of our passion for making a badass character a little too bad? Or is the increase in stories with a dark avenger type a reflection of our current views as a society, the desire to put ourselves first and call the shots in a competitive world?

What do you think? Feel free to add to the discussion

Felicia day’s autobiography: the ultimate nerd role model

This book was remarkable. I said it. Favourite book so far this year. It managed to capture the essence of Felicia day in writing form, the sort of book you’d read in her voice. It talked about her exploits as a home-schooled kid in the south and her tussle with being a child prodigy alongside her professional and virtual life in an honest tone without sounding too forced or melodramatic. Her writing is fun to consume and personally responsible for my late nights spent desperate to get to the end of the chapter if it kills me.

I managed to empathise with her narration, getting genuinely nervous about her ill fortune and impressed/excited with her victories to the point where I subjected my family and friends into conversations about a book they haven’t even read because I needed to vent the roller-coaster of emotions she sent the reader through. Her writing manages to allow her audience to view the world through the lens she viewed it, in a way that even her best videos couldn't. Even her anxiety comes through in her writing as she references her various spirit animals (the majority of which being prey.)

I found the chapter about her experiences with comic con and Gamergate to be particularly insightful and the perfect proof that her life is a pendulum of extremes swaying from an army a swooning fans getting her name tattooed over their body to video game addiction and her details being released into the abyss for anyone to find. In conclusion this book is a wild ride, clear your evenings and grab a bookmark ASAP.

Side note: if Felicia sees this then please help a fella out and share it with your fan base. it would mean a lot to me, as a creator who started from scratch in the early 2000s you know how hard it is to get a fan base without selling your soul to Satan.

Deadpool: a violent, sexy, funny masterpiece

I’ve just witnesses the marvel that is Deadpool. After dozens of trailers for assorted teen movies each featuring cheesy 80s tunes the rude, crude and misconstrued masterpiece struck the big screen like a meteor, with it’s tongue and cheek dialog, tarentino-esque violence, and gripping storyline DC have a lot of competition.

Actress Morena Baccarin managed to pull of the performance as a flirtatious ex-prostitute girlfriend Vanessa which is the polar opposite of her usual role as the innocent and pure Dr Tomkinson from Gotham proving she is a jack of all trades. Ed Skrein managed to muster the sadism and accent of his character as the British supervillain Ajax (AKA Francis) who reminded me of Spike from Buffy. Finally Ryan Renolds managed to capture the essence of the character that is Deadpool right off the bat with his gallows humour and in-your-face attitude to life leaving the audience hungry for more.

The combination of grit and wit left the plot dramatic and the humour poignant without taking away from the depressing moments, the plot humanised Deadpool just enough to encourage sympathy without making the movie and it’s cartoonish violence depressing. It hit on serious subjects such as cancer doubling them with fourth wall breaks and moments that will leave you yelling at the screen in iritation for him to “JUST KISS THE GIRL!”

Of course no Deadpool movie would be complete without sexual innuendo, bisexuality, pop culture references and the breaking of whatever shards of the fourth wall remain from the last time he visited. This movie is no exception with all of these things from the get-go and so much more, there are Xmen, explosions and steamy sex scenes.

In conclusion if you want a film with the humour of Paul, the swordsmanship and violence of Kill Bill and the timing of Borat then this is the film for you. The only question I’m left with is will DC’s Suicide squad manage to compete for the fiction crown? Only time will tell.

privilege

I live a pretty good life, I'm young, able bodied, middle class, white and male with no mental health issues and lots of supportive friends/family which basically means I won the situational lottery. So I can't argue that I'm a high authority on this topic, but here are my 2 cent.

I dislike the concept of privilege, because I feel my ascribed status makes me ordinary, just another white kid who achieves because society's golden light hit him. It feels as if it's saying my achievements are less real and my problems are less valid than those identical problems on a minority. As if I'm destined to mediocrity because I haven't needed to overcome a great crisis.

It also creates the problematic view that the lives of women/people of colour are inherently worse due to their position in society, which is a false assumption. I understand that these people go through hardships in day to day life such as a lack of role models in the media (how many black lead characters can you name? What about Asian leads? Leads with disability?) And that they do have hurdles to overcome, but perpetuating an "us and them" culture antagonises people who haven't done anything wrong.

But I digress, perhaps my disapproval is due to my view of the world, I have never seen how the other half live and until a "freaky Friday"situation occurs I can't. I'd be interested in hearing other arguments, let's open a conversation. 

Until then check out some of my other work

January!

This week has been a bit slow, but as this is my first proper blog post I’ve decided to write. After all this mostly a writing exercise. My week was simple, yet it was exciting for me as life tends to be monotonous if you don’t notice the changes. On Tuesday I had a haircut in town, at a really hipster-y place called “Keeping the Faith” that was recommended to me by a friend of a friend. Originally I was only going to fix my phone but I decided to hit two birds with one stone, I’d been wanting to try out a younger barbers for a long time, to surrender creative power to the guy with the scissors just once and see if it looked better different.


Keeping the faith was a nice place, clean and monochrome with quotes and random images around the wall. I sat there silently, considering what was about to happen. I felt weirdly anxious, as if my change of hairdresser and potential change of haircut was going to have a large impact on my life. I watched as the two barbers worked on the people before me. There was a guy in a beanie with a beard who reminded me of Rhett from “Rhett and Link” (if he was a young hipster with doodles covering most of his upper body.) He worked alongside a barber with shaggy artificial blond hair and piercings that seemed rather gothic. Being a rather conservative person – more of a Quentin than a Margo – I was beginning to get concerned. I started hoping that I’d get the hipster over the Goth.

The moment the seat was free I met the hipster. I asked him for advice and he referenced to a few signs, checking over his decisions before orbiting me a bit more. He looked at my hair like a bird in a nature documentary would look at a camera, cocking his head fascinated before continuing to make small talk about his tattoos and his awesome denim apron after he finished with me I paid him with tip and he handed me his business card (@thatbarberjaime on Instagram) I went home, unaware of how impossible my hipster hair would be to recreate, it was nice while it lasted.

The next day I visited ignite, the most middle class and most intelligent events on my calendar for a few months. It was my second time and it didn’t disappoint. When I ordered at the bar I recognised a familiar face that seemed as a ghost in my memory … then it hit me! She was a welsh vlogger (albeit one that doesn’t post often) who I watch on occasion. She was cute, in a very natural, indie way. Kind of like Anna Kendrick’s character from pitch perfect if she was welsh, I had to shake the smitten feeling away and order food/drinks for the event that took me a moment to do. In other news I’ve concluded that wales is tiny, one welsh blogger down, one to go!

I managed to get the table number wrong down to my crap memory and had to dash to apologise, looking slightly flustered as I went. When the event finally began it was good, introduced by a woman called Rhiannon who worked in a sex toy shop and did a talk last year. She was very entertaining and managed to warm the crowd up with a variety of games cheer triggers. This time the talks were considerably more interesting than my last visit with two anonymous guests, shout out to the ‘medical gimp’ who talked about crime analysis, he totally knocked it out of the park *Insert crime metaphor/pun here.* that being said there were a few boring talks but I don’t want to dwell on them. Over all it was a brilliant night and even my plus one (a creature of habit who went skeptically) ended up actually enjoying it.

Top ten awesome things that should kick off in 2016

I’m attempting to experiment with listicles, cause that’s how you get views, or at least according to Buzzfeed.

Sidenote: It took me ages to decide between all the awesome photos of cool stuff

1)    Henna

As much as I love how awesome tattoos can look It has also occurred to me that A) I don’t want to brand myself with some cheap gimmick that I thought was cool for the time and B) normal tats seem painful. Henna however clean, smart looking is and will vanish to avoid tragic mistakes. This argument also expands to sleeves that can be removed due to the situation. (http://tattly.com/)

2)    Capes

 Impracticality aside I disagree with Edna Mode from the incredible. They look dramatic and badass flowing through the wind as you move like some bold hero from game of thrones or assassin’s creed. However there is the minor issue of what happened to Madonna last year.

3)    Subtle hair dye/ highlights

Everyone goes for a full on haircut and it seems like it’s a hit or miss situation. However I reckon that subtle hair highlights like Michael Aranda’s stripe or Fish Mooney’s fringe will stand out more and have less room for fatal error.

4)      Sword umbrellas

They are just so badass. (by that I mean umbrellas that look like swords not vice versa. I am in no way responsible for any injuries caused by people reinacting Kingsman.

5)    Linsey Sterling

She’s awesome and yes I am aware that I’m late to the party a bit. She’s a professional YouTube violinist whose music goes from dramatic metaphors for anorexia to the Pokémon theme tune. Usually she’s rocking unusual clothing and stamping around rhythmically with many special guests. (https://www.youtube.com/user/lindseystomp)

6)    Postmodern jukebox and genre play

I really like how people take lyrics from songs yet change the instruments and manipulate the speed in order to completely change the feel of the song. It allows for the ability to sing along to the lyrics whilst also reinventing the song completely at an impressive quality, I want more. (https://www.youtube.com/user/ScottBradleeLovesYa)

7)      The 50’s look

Despite the 50s being a time associated with lots of people not having rights, it did a very good job at fuelling the American dream via the optimistic feel it had and the retro look of pretty much everything in the movies I’ve seen. I love the idea of the American diners and the leather jackets and even the huge Elvis hair.

8)    Celtic patterns

I may be biased due to my heritage but I think the Celts need their patterns found more. I see so many pretensious tattoos and doodles of ancient tribal markings and foreign writing yet nothing a bit closer to home. They are simple, vibrant, blue and usually worn by warriors. This also includes the bangles (torks?) I’ve seen in the museums.

9)      Noir

Despite my apathy towards the “Sin City” series I really like the dark tones and writing of a noir, However I do believe that some of the sterotypes are outdated (ie the pathetic damsel.) I think noire could be revamped for the newer generation. Add to the argument the sinister tones of Gotham (the most badass show ever) and it’s perfect. Also check out Gin Wigmore if you get the chance. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwZkk3oLmho)

 

10)   Dub smash

This one might actually happen. Basically you get celebrities to mouth to songs and film quotes online and it looks hilarious. Especially when the actors who play agent Carter and Jarvis wage war against the agents of shield cast for charity.Top ten awesome things that should kick off in 2016

In defence of millennials

I often hear people say that my generation is “losing their social skills” or how we apparently “are dependent on computers” and it pisses me off intensely. Not only because people creating this argument are taking the first pause of the day from their Ipads for casual drinking and bitching, but also because they’d do the exact same if they had the ability. Now I’m not going to bring up how my generation are the closest to equality that we’ve been or the minimisation of smoking and teen pregnancy in young people. I could spend ages with stats and facts about us. But instead I’m going to convince you that we have it better than the baby boomers.

Firstly we live in the fast lane, but there’s nothing wrong with that. We have the potential to do in a day what it would have once taken a team of people a week to do. We have maximised productivity providing enough time for entertainment and personal projects. We have free utilities that allow people an audience for their particular talent that wouldn’t get one before. It isn’t just the entertainment industry either, people can create projects on Kickstarter and receive the financial aid they require without a crippling loan. Often when baby boomers say that us kids are “impatient” what they really mean is “They have an advantage over us and we’re jealous.”

Secondly it isn’t just the speed at which we can access the word either. We have an all access pass to the internet which allows us to see things we’d never see anywhere else. I can order an Australian surfboard or a Japanese TV and it’ll arrive within weeks. I can contact people over the other side of the world just for a catch up and or meet attractive strangers briefly and intimately without leaving my house, let alone going to a bar. I can track down any piece of information available and use it to my advantage, learn any skill within a three minute video. With the internet the world is literally your oyster.

Third is a pressing issue, a main argument is about how vain our generation is. People view apps such as twitter and Instagram as a place for smugly attractive people to plaster their face over, but in reality that’s far from the truth. It’s used to boost self-esteem sure, I’ll give you that one, but it’s closer to a time capsule or a scrapbook. People use social networks to look back at fond memories and smile. They also provide instant news from the people I care about, be them famous or otherwise, about their day to day life and how their doing. This means I don’t need to constantly contact people and ask the way a nosy parent would. Social networks allows a portal into the world of the user, the closest we’ve come to seeing through another’s eyes. What’s not to like?

Finally our social skills aren’t decreasing, I contact hundreds of people each day. I have the potential to talk to anyone from any background and get opinions from anyone. We have dozens of new things to talk about and share including an extensive collection of world shattering and emotionally intense new TV shows, constant news from all four corners of the globe and dozens of enlightened professionals who can whittle very serious issues and inspiring ideas into 5 – 20 minute shots of information. So next time you see a teenager glued to three devices at once, don’t judge them, because the odds are they’re doing twice the work you ever could.

for further persuasion check out author John Green's view on the subject: 

http://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/01/stop-patronising-young-people-and-start-listening?utm_content=bufferac21d&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer