almost homeless in scotland

gather around children, let me tell you the tale, of how my phone went down for the count in the middle of Edinburgh, surrounded by strangers.

so im having a lovely time, the free tourguide is great, im hanging with a cute french girl and a strapping aussie (both of which i would have made out with given permission, but hey ho.) scottish people are lovely, but my phones been playing up a bit. i manage to get a flicker of phone life an realise my parents have been panicking because their son is awol and not answering his phone.  this was the first domino

i go to the payphone and tell my folks whats happening, and then try and move my way to a Samsung shop, completely without any directions other than locals advice. it was then that they told me they couldn’t repair it without it costing £300ish. NOPE.  it also dawns on me that without my banking apps, the money on my card is a mystery number in 2 digits. fuck. my bus tickets are on the phone. double fuck. all my local advice is usually a google away. NOPE. triple fuck

so i buy a cheap nokia phone, desperate times call for desperate measures, im pissed to the point where im warning the staff before they serve me and explaining what happens to me, but i go about my day and buy myself a pork role. later in the afternoon however, i try and log into my emails and safe my bus ticket. except i have plot convenient amnesia. the nice frenchman who lent his phone to me was cool, except i get myself locked out of my email. my bus ticket is unretrieveable.

i then try to call megabus, they don’t give me my details and i’m thinking “OH FUCK.  I’M STUCK IN SCOTLAND WITHOUT ACCOMEDATION”. after faffing around, the clock getting dangerously close to the bus times they finally begin to help. i’m checking a stranger’s smartphone for my emails, and the stranger is calling megabus (where he works) they answer and inform me that my ticket is booked FOR THE NEXT DAY. thank god they allowed me to stowaway on a bus a day early.

also i discovered i had £20 to survive on for 2 days including 1 day in London. only just made it home

MORAL OF THE STORY - DONT RELY ON YOUR PHONE. PRINT EVERYTHING AND SHUFFLE YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS AROUND BEFORE SOLO TRAVELLING


BONUS ROUND - power moves from  people i met in scotland:

 - the soft spoken, lilted accent kilt salesman/dad ON A CIRCA 2012 HOVERBOARD. he was already tall and really well dressed, but the board added an extra foot. within the first 3 sentences he spoke was a pun. i want to be this man!

 - the american girl wearing literal prosthetic devil horns, when asked about them she smiled and said “yeah the’re kinda my thing” shutting down all haters and making me hella jealous of her power

 - the cool middle aged woman i spoke to in London en route, she was really worldly and kinda implied she was bi(?) as we discussed SoHo, London, and how to travel and have actual adventures