How did I end up here? Huddled by the wall of a strange yet warm pub on the sketchier side of Manchester. waiting for a German bondage expert to introduce me to a ton of hippies known as "the radical faeries," in what was promised not to be a sexual activity despite taking place in a literal Rihanna music video style dungeon.It all started after Dragula, when I discovered my life in the suburbs wasn't exciting enough, and required some queering up. I've met rad faeries in the past, strange people with unusual clothing, glitter, and funny names like Dandelion Chalice. I didn't think much of it beyond the novelty. I would have never been able to guess that half a year later I'd be in a pub in Manchester in late January, meeting them for a hippie training thing.
After waiting half an hour more than expected and having to pretend I'd been stood up for the sake of the pushy bar owner, I met them. Two amab people, a bearded figure with a soft German lilt, and a person with chaotic white hair and a glitter scarf. They called themselves Love Dragon (the German) and Grateful Phoenix (the blonde.) Arguable the polar opposite of the sorts of people I'd be expecting using the venue.
The first room emulated a fun bar that lead into a rich wine red upstairs, filled with bedrooms. Each starting off normal until I found the top room, a red and black chamber with chains and medieval imagery and the kind of restraints required for an exorcism. As far as first times go, I was getting mixed signals.The walrus-y man, the German, took charge. The soft accent being this paper thin veil between me and the overwhelming feeling of "this is how I die" that flooded me. He sat on the central bed and spoke, securing eye contact.
We started off with a trust exercise, me in a ridiculous black vest technicolor legging combo. We joined hands and the two people on the outside had to guide the middle person while keeping their eyes closed. I held their hands. Soft hands. How can their hands be so soft? And walked, waiting to feel the energy and guessing at my destination.
After that occurred we were debriefed and I was asked whether I wanted to start off as the massager or the massaged, and whether I had training. I chose massager. I could imitate, the mountain of pure German that stood before me, and so the grateful Phoenix stripped off and lay still.
We vibed well, the German and I. maintaining eye contact and brushing coconut oil across the strangers body. I shifted in my leggings, in order to hide any physical reactions to the stranger arse naked on a bed in front of me. I felt it then, all the vague poetry the team had spouted at me, the eye contact making me feel like the hesitation before a kiss. It was somehow both incredibly homoerotic and yet entirely wholesome. My affections seeming to magnetise more to the partner masseuse than the body in front of me. "How do you not fall in love with everyone you massage with?" I attempted to ask. Dragon smirked back at me calmly "what makes you think that's a bad thing?" Counter-riddled the dragon.
Sooner or later it was my turn. I wasn't phased by nudity, so I stripped off following suit with the Phoenix and lay there cadavourously. (Is that a real word? I like it regardless!). Soon I was lost for a moment, in a limbo between the present and my thoughts. It wasn't as sexy an experience as I imagined it to be, I felt like a hedonistic Greek emperor getting serviced by his team. My little joke about "accidentally joining the cult of Dionysus" suddenly becoming increasingly relevant. At one point the hands joined forced into some kind of across the body massage rumba.
Finally love dragon took his turn, stripping off rapidly and laying there. For the second time that day I had to remind myself that although the butt can and should be handled. Everything has to be done professionally and not in an uncomfortable way. This time the magic didn't stick tho, Phoenix and I often missed the frequencies required for a silent joint meditation. "Don't focus on the experience for me, I'm a forest I don't care. The important thing is your exploring the forest in tune together" he prescribed. I tried to read the braille of the body, but there was no spark this time and I suspect Phoenix felt that too.
I left in a bizarre state. Deeply turned on yet somehow deeply turned off at the same time.
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